How to Write a Father of the Bride Speech: The Essentials
The Goal of Every Father:
“I'm still at the wedding of my daughter but didn't want to wait until tomorrow to tell you about the speech. I had more people than I can count tell me in no uncertain words 'best speech they have ever heard.’
“The wedding planner has done 150 weddings in the last few years and said she tunes out 99% of father speeches after the first sentence or two. Tonight she said she was mesmerized, beginning to end saying, 'It was the best Father of the Bride speech I've heard. Ever.'“ (continue reading)
Thomas, New York, 07/07/25
The Problem
You only have one shot to nail this speech for your daughter, son-in-law, families and a room full of guests.
Yet rest assured that when you stand up to speak most people will be thinking, “Oh no… here we go again.”
It’s nothing personal, of course, it’s just that most father of the bride speeches all sound the same—dull. Full of generic compliments, empty platitudes, bad YouTube advice, rambling stories and phony lines everyone hears over and over like, “I’m not losing a daughter I’m gaining a son!” or “You’re the perfect couple!”
In other words, most father speeches are about as exciting as scraping paint from a fence in the Texas sun.
How to Nail It
The best father of the bride speech will give guests an inside look at the values, character and personality of the bride and groom through your eyes.
You should grab, engage, entertain and surprise the audience in the same way as if they're watching a movie. So like a movie, your speech should have light, fun and warm moments throughout.
But right now you have years of thoughts, memories, feelings and experiences about your daughter in your heart and head. And it likely all feels like a jumbled mess right now.
That makes it next to impossible to step back and get perspective, which is what it takes to create a great speech that honors your daughter and son-in-law and is easy and enjoyable for the audience to follow. So your speech will require you to focus and gain perspective.
Having written more than 2,100 original father of the bride speeches over many years, I can tell you the best speech has seven sections written in a narrative structure that is easy and enjoyable for the audience to follow without having to work or think.
Step 1: Start with a hook that grabs attention.
The first 15 seconds of your speech determine whether people will listen or zone out.
Nearly every father I’ve worked with is introduced by name and role by the DJ or master of ceremonies. Don’t reintroduce yourself, which is redundant and unnecessary at a time when you should simply be grabbing the audience and rolling.
The audience expects you to open your speech like every other father with “For those who don’t know me, I’m Jack, the proud father of the bride, welcome, welcome, thank you, thank you” and other, “blah, blah, blah” throat-clearing the audience intends to sleep through. Don’t do it.
Instead, start with something that makes people lean in. Something simple, quick (under 100 words) and unexpected that will surprise and grab everyone’s attention.
This could be an observation, a quick reflection or memory of your daughter or something else they don’t expect. Anything but, “Good evening everyone and welcome blah, blah, blah, thank you, thank you, thank you.”
Step 2: Handle your traditional father duties.
After you have grabbed the audience’s attention with something unexpected then cover your traditional duties of welcoming everyone, bringing the families together and setting a positive tone for the evening as the first speaker of the night, usually before dinner.
This is also when you acknowledge and thank key guests by name including your wife, other children, grandparents as well as the groom’s family. No need to thank the wedding planner… his or her thanks come in the form of you paying them.
Step 3: Give everyone an inside look at your daughter.
Your relationship with your daughter is like no one else’s. What are her signature values, characteristics and personality traits through your eyes?
Humans have been hard wired for story since the Stone Age so be sure to do as much “showing” as “telling” through short, punchy stories that bring her character to life and differentiate her from every daughter—and bride—in the world that day.
Step 4: Connect one to one with your daughter.
Now speak directly to your daughter on her wedding day. Looking back on your life together what are you feeling in this moment? What do you want her to know on this day? Among many things, what do you admire most about her? What’s it been like to be her father?
Step 5: Give us an inside look at your son-in-law.
What are his values, characteristics and personality traits through your eyes. How did you first hear about him? What were the circumstances of your first meeting? What did you think about him? How did he and daughter look and feel to you as a couple?
Step 6: Bring them together as a couple.
What makes them work so well as a great couple? What was the big turning point in their relationship when you knew you would be giving this father of the bride speech eventually? What have you learned about life or love from watching them together?
Step 7: Offer advice that comes from your life experience and end with a quick toast.
Your advice could be about marriage or anything in life you’ve learned that you’d like to pass on. Make it personal to your own experience rather than generic wedding advice everyone's heard before.
Your closing toast should be simple and future focused such as, “And now everyone please join me in raising a glass to the bride and groom for a lifetime of adventures, laughter, and the kind of love that only gets stronger with time. To Sarah and Bill!"
Remember: this isn't about you being a perfect public speaker. It's about honoring your daughter and this milestone moment in her life. Speak from the heart, keep it tight, punchy, fun and warm and you'll deliver something truly memorable.
Need Help? Click below to get a funny, warm, killer original speech in your voice and personality — which means it will be easy and fun for you to deliver.